And how it’s causing you to work harder at forming meaningful relationships.
Around 36% of Canadians use online dating, and it’s no surprise given the Global pandemic that has caused us to socialize less and approach dating in a new way.
With rising social anxieties, many dealt with the first phase of lockdown alone and realized how awful it was to sit at home, every night without someone special to share it with.
So how has dating changed in the last 18 months?
Social anxieties are higher
In 2021, it is now reported that social anxieties have increased as a result of COVID-19
Many of us have forgotten the important skill of having a healthy conversation. Where we once had multiple interactions and small talk without much hesitation, say in the locker room, or the coffee shop, now, it seems, it causes us to feel a rise in anxiety.
For many of my clients, it has made small talk in dating apps feel more laborious and painful. Many men are reported that they don’t even know what to say when matched with a potential partner. What is an appropriate first date? How soon should I suggest we meet in person? Should I mention if I am vaccinated or not?
It’s feeling tough out there.
Apps have expanded to allow video chat
In order to respond to the difficulties of meeting in person and staying socially distant, many apps, including Hinge and now Tinder has adapted to include video chat.
Men and women are choosing to set up first-dates on video and are spending time getting to know each other this way before choosing to meet in person.
The question is, is this a good or bad change?
The positives are nobody needs to worry about splitting the bill, where to go on your date and whether you’ll have to contend with an award first kiss or a request for sex. It also promoted forming meaningful connections that are not simply based on sexual attraction, but something more.
However, it’s also now easier to hide behind the excuse of the pandemic. Those that may be nervous to go on dates can use dating apps to chat and connect but never takes things further. It’s a big frustration when you put time and energy into getting to know someone and it never progresses.
Can we truly form connections with people without meeting them in person? I would argue we can, but it takes a different approach.
The swipe culture has already shifted how we look at potential partners, and the pandemic has definitely changed how people choose to interact.
People dating now are actually having to learn how to work at their relationships
The pandemic has brought a lot of new stresses on couples. Many who are newly dating are contending with new work-from-home routines or changes to their regular schedules. So this brings a whole set of new frustrations to the courtship process.
Couples are being tested even earlier on in their relationship. Do they share the same views on the pandemic and mask mandate? Do they live together and have strong boundaries around personal space? Are they meeting friends and family and integrating their social lives earlier or later than normal?
Couples are needing to work on their relationships in a new way. Being able to communicate well has always been important – but it’s more important now than ever. Learning how to approach conflict in a major test for couples during this pandemic.
Approaching women in public is more challenging
What’s happened to the old-fashioned way of picking up women?
Many of the men I’ve coached over the last six months have reported feeling more awkward about approaching women in public.
They fear offending a woman they approach, getting too close and making things feel uncomfortable or simply coming off as creepy because they are wearing a mask. This is leading to higher anxieties and a lack of social skills with many men.
Kimberly Hill is a leading Dating & Relationship Coach For Men, and Host of The Self-Confidence Project Podcast. You can follow her on Instagram @kimberlyninahill. For more information, go to www.kimberlyninahill.com.
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