How to date successfully after marriage, especially if it’s been a while
Divorce is known to be one of the most stressful events in someone’s life. And one can understand why. The event itself is an emotional whirlwind, not to mention financially stressful. If kids are involved, it’s just plain complicated.
But the start of the divorce is not where the stress starts. On average, an individual spends two years thinking about divorce before taking action on it And when we are checking out of a relationship, it’s not usually a joyful time.
The whole process can make you rethink everything you know about love and relationships. But it doesn’t mean that a healthy relationship is not in the cards for you. It is, and it can be.
If you’re ready to meet someone new, here are some important areas to consider before you sign up for dating on Tinder, eHarmony or hit the streets in search of a new beau.
Get support and do the inner work to heal from your divorce
The healing process will look different for everyone. It’s important to take time to process what happened and get back to a healthy emotional state before you begin dating again. Only you can determine when you’re truly ready. During this time, it’s important to reclaim your interests and begin re-building healthy friendships.
Get clear on what you’re looking for in a partner
Before you create a dating profile and sign up for the hottest dating app, consider what you’re actually searching for. You’ll improve your chances of matching and meeting with the right types of people if you’re mindful and intentional about it. Great relationships are based on shared values, so understand what truly matters to you before you start your search.
Understand the kind of relationship you want to have
Since your last relationship ended, you may want to think about the type of relationship you’re interested in creating. Want more kids? Say so. Looking for a partner who enjoys adventures and travel? Be clear about that too. Consider the kind of relationship you want to have and make sure that’s what you’re attracting.
Set boundaries around the use of apps
If this is your first time using dating apps, or you’re exploring it again, you’re going to need to have some boundaries in place. While dating apps can be a great way to meet potential partners, they also can stress us out and take our time away from other healthy pursuits. Don’t rely strictly on dating apps. There are other ways to meet great people and you should know how to approach women in public as well. Make sure you know when to put your phone down so you’re not spending hours mindlessly scrolling or falling behind in other areas of life. Dating apps can be addictive, like all forms of social media, so be conscious of how you use them and what’s going to work best for you. Are you planning to go on dates every day of the week? For single dads, what about during the days and weekends you have your kids? Make sure you know when you’re available so you’re not feeling pulled in one hundred directions.
To your success in dating,
Kimberly
Kimberly Hill is a leading Dating & Relationship Coach For Men, and Host of The Self-Confidence Project Podcast. You can follow her on Instagram @kimberlyninahill. For more information, go to www.kimberlyninahill.com.
Curious to learn more? Download a free copy of The 6 Must-Know Secrets To Attracting Your Dream Partner.
I had the honor of being featured in DatingAdvice, where I shared valuable insights on “Dating After Divorce.” You can read the full article here.
