Welcome back to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project. I’m your host, Kimberly and today we’re unpacking whether the woman you’re interested in is genuinely looking for a meaningful relationship or just enjoys the attention you’re providing. The clues I’ll share with you today will help determine whether she values you or just likes the convenience.
Want to attract the right woman for you? Book a call with Kimberly
Check out my audio masterclass on talking to women here.
With love,
Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the self-confidence project. I’m your host, Kimberly. I’m a man’s life dating and relationship coach. And today we’re going to be unpacking whether or not the woman that you’re texting that you’re having phone calls with, that you’re getting to know is in fact, actually genuinely interested in pursuing something with you or she’s just doing it because it feels good in the moment.
And she likes the attention and validation, but has actually no real. Real interest in pursuing something long-term and meaningful with you. Now, this would be a very frustrating situation to be in if you are dating and you’re sitting here thinking I don’t actually know the intention of. What this woman wants from me.
And so as a guy, you’re going to either try harder or try less hard or start doing things, thinking that it’s going to bring you clarity, but in today’s video, I want to just cut all the BS and just [00:01:00] share with you five clues, five signs that you guys want to be looking out for as you interact with these women, to really get a sense of whether or not she’s in it for genuine reasons, or she just likes that attention and validation that you were giving. Giving her, when she chooses to text you or answer that phone call or meet up with you now. The very first sign is inconsistent communication.
Right? We are a lot more consistent with somebody when we respect them and when we actually want to win their affection. Okay. So if a woman that you are getting to know is displaying, inconsistent communication. This is going to be that first sign. Now, what does that mean? Right. Inconsistent communication with a woman will look like one time when you text her and start a conversation with her on your phone, right?
She’s going to be really eager to respond, and you’re going to have this great text exchange back and forth. It’s going to feel really [00:02:00] good. And you as a guy are going to have your ego stroke and you’re going to be like, this woman is really into me. I feel like I’m really clear. Uh, that she’s, she’s digging me and I’m doing all the right things. Then. One time you reach out to her. And expect that the conversation’s going to flow the same way it previously did.
She’s not there. She’s not responding. You’re getting one word answers or for some reason she just takes days and days to respond to you. That’s inconsistent communication. One times it feels good and it flows nicely. And another time you’re wondering what on earth happened? Because she’s showing me a totally different side of her inconsistent communication.
Now what about when that first message got sent? And she was really eager and it was flowy and it felt nice. Right. But that. Next time that you send a message to her, or the next time you reach out to chat with her. She’s not very eager at all. So you’re noticing not only just with the frequency. Of [00:03:00] messaging, but the underlying emotions, one time, it feels really good.
And another time it’s feeling really sticky and stagnant. And this is because if a woman. Likes the attention and validation that you were giving her, but doesn’t actually want to pursue something meaningful with you. Then she is going to use this device or answer this device or degree to hang out with you only when it is convenient for her and no other time.
That is a massive sign. She’s not into you for the long haul in consistent communication. Secondly, You’re noticing that there’s actually no progression happening in this relationship. So there are times when you go out with this woman, you recognize, you know, Like, we’re having a nice time. We’re hanging out.
It’s, it’s feeling fun, but this has been going on for some time now and you’re thinking, well, how come. How come this isn’t progressing to something more committed between us or how come every [00:04:00] time she agrees to hang out with me. It’s only when we’re doing that group activity. Right. How come, she doesn’t want to actually spend a lone time with you, or how come when you suggest that you guys maybe go for a dinner?
She says, yes, but you know, a month and a half, two months into dating, you suggest she comes to your place. So you can cook her a meal and that’s absolutely not going to happen. Right. So she’s keeping you at the safe distance where she can hang out with you in groups or in crowded places, or enjoy that nice dinner with you. But she’s actually not going to move towards any thing other than these circle surface level activities.
And she’s not going to want to come spend time at your house or let you cook her a meal or, or put herself in a situation where things would actually progress maybe romantically or physically or to a more committed level. So she’ll agree to stuff, but she will only agree to what’s convenient for her.
Again, the underlying. [00:05:00] Thread here is with the communication. It’s only what’s convenient for her. And when it comes to spending time with you. It’s only what’s convenient for her. So you’re going to notice that the relationship in fact is not progressing to a meaningful, uh, I meaningful point here. Okay.
Clue number three. This one’s going to really confuse you and have other videos on this one. She’s really flirtatious with you. But again, she’s not taking that next step. So maybe when you guys are texting one another, or you’re on a phone call with her, even when you’re out at that dinner date, she’s flirting with you. And she’s giving you compliments or she’s teasing yours.
She’s touching you on the arm. But it never goes beyond the playful interactions. She actually avoids any real physical intimacy with you. And she will avoid anything that indicates an actual, real romantic connection. Right. [00:06:00] And oftentimes those things are kissing you at the end of the day or holding you close.
Because when we, as women, when we really fall for a guy and we really like a guy, like we want to be close to him, we want to feel that oxytocin and serotonin of like, cuddling with this person. But if I was dating a guy and I was just dating him because. Well, it was convenient and, but I didn’t really want to get physical with him or commit to him.
Then I would keep that distance, but keep him around. Right. So if she’s flirting with you really flirtatious with you on text or on a phone call or on your days, but like the flirtation always just. Doesn’t get past game level. Number one. Uh, pretty big insight that she is enjoying what you give her when she wants it, but only to the level that’s convenient for her. Now clue number four. This woman. Always [00:07:00] needs validation from you. Right.
She’s not giving it all the time. Do you? She’s inconsistent with you, right? She’s flirty, but doesn’t take the next step. Uh, she’s really not progressing the relationship with you, but she constantly needs the validation from you. Right. So maybe she responds to you that night because she wants a little reassurance that she looked really great on that date you did have with her or she’s fishing for praise. Or even Natalee enough, she’s going to send you maybe a scantly cloud photo, just so you can Ooh, N oh. All over it and make her feel good that night. Even though she has no intention of progressing this relationship with you.
She might use her appearance. To gain your attention at affection. And she’s constantly going to need to feel like you are chasing her. But she’s not going to reciprocate. She’s not going to reciprocate in any significant way, because [00:08:00] even with clue, number four, everything is about what’s convenient for her texting.
Only if it’s convenient for her spending time with you. Only if it’s convenient for her and keeps a distance between you flirts with her. With you only if it’s convenient for her, but actually doesn’t go beyond level. Number one. And always needs validation because that’s, what’s convenient for her. You see the thread here.
This is a selfish woman that knows very well. You have feelings for her, and it has zero indication of reciprocating, those, but. Leading into clue. Number five, she likes to keep you around. As a backup. So sometimes you might be going well. There are times when she reaches out to me. It’s not only when I reach out to her. Okay, well, she’s doing all these other things.
It’s probably because she’s reaching out to you when it’s convenient for her. When she’s bored, when she’s lonely, when the other hot guy that she’s interested in, [00:09:00] ignored her. Right. She’s going to show interest in you when it seems, you know, as well, like your losing interest or you’re moving on only to pull back once she’s regained that attention and affection from you. This is uncool women do this all the time and dating.
And I’ve been there. I’ve been one of these women at certain points of time. And honestly, the reason why I did this was because I was experiencing a crappy point in my life of low self-esteem and I was more preoccupied with what I wanted and how I felt and how I was treating other people. There are women out there that are in that period of their lives, where again, they don’t really think about the consequences of their actions.
They are lacking. That external self-awareness ladies don’t lack. Self-awareness be better. Don’t mess around with guys. Come on. You know, if you don’t know how to make yourself feel good and you’re. Dragon somebody on just because you like the external validation, cut that shit out [00:10:00] and do better. Honestly.
That’s how I feel because I work with a lot of guys and I, and I get that the stress that they go through because they’re good-hearted men. And they want to be in loving, genuine relationships. And they’re going, what is going on with modern women? A lot of modern women are really insecure at these days.
We have totally changed societal norms and gender roles. We don’t really know are many of us don’t really know our place or our role in this world. We are taking on a lot of masculine tendencies and characteristics. And if we are in a period of our life where we haven’t had luck with dating or were. Thinking, we’re not as pretty as we feel, when we look in the mirror, then we’re going to do these things to men because just like men love the validation and ego boost of having an attractive women, women also like having multiple men around to boost their egos as well.
So just to remind you guys, if you’re getting inconsistent communication with a woman, Where she only is texting you or showing eagerness when it’s [00:11:00] convenient for her. Be mindful of that. If she is, uh, not really progressing the relationship, but sometimes agrees to hang out with you, but not really quality time alone.
And she’s not really interested in progressing the relationship. And it’s been some time now guys be mindful of this one. If she flirts with you when it’s convenient for her, but never actually progresses to real physical contact, be mindful of this. And if she reaches out to you when it’s convenient for her and gives you that kind of clickbait to say like, look at me, love me, give me affection. Then guys, you need to know that you should never be a woman.
Second option. And that’s why I want to just highlight towards the end of this podcast in this video today. That if you are noticing these signs, Then this does not mean that you should act passive aggressively or be aggressive or rude to this woman? Absolutely not. Right. What this means is you recognize that. You are worth more than these behaviors. And you’re politely and [00:12:00] respectfully. Moving on. And you don’t need to provide an explanation.
You want to have really strong boundaries here, guys, if this stuff is happening to you. Then the honest, hard punch in the gut is that these types of behaviors happen to us when we allow them to happen to us. So if you’re allowing a woman to do this to you, that half of this is on you. Half of this is on her.
You need to have strong boundaries and say, look. You know, Enjoyed getting to know you, but I’m, I’m noticing there’s inconsistency in our communication things don’t feel like they’re progressing. I’m not really feeling the romantic connection I wanted to feel for all those reasons. I’m going to be moving on.
And then she’s going to say, oh, but ma NA, sorry, lady. You had your chance. It’s been too long flicking you to the street. I mean, no disrespect moving on to a woman who actually cares about getting to know you, and this is how you’re going to navigate through dating with a lot more confidence and a lot more ease, because I have said this time and time [00:13:00] again, that successful dating is about dating the right women and saying no to the wrong ones.
Now, another thing to keep in mind, Guys is, if you are super confused, you’re getting mixed signals. Then just have this as a blanket, affirmation or statement for yourself or fricking tattooed on your arm or put it as your. Wallpaper screensaver on your phone, stop chasing ambiguous signals. Ambiguous signals mean that the person that you were dating doesn’t know what they want.
Isn’t sure what’s going on. And maybe they don’t even know who they really are. So of her actions don’t align with her words. It is time to move on. That could be weeks into getting to know her. That could be months into getting to know her focus on women who consistently invest in building a real connection with you. You and do not waste your time on the other ones, guys, please share this with somebody that needs this loving reminder from your dear old dating and relationship coach [00:14:00] Kimberly Hill, please drop your comments below.
Have you experienced this? Is this what’s going on for you right now? Or are you sick and tired of trying to dissect these mixed signals because of a woman is giving you mixed signals. Over time. You’re seeing some of these clues and it’s pretty certain, she just likes your attention. And isn’t really wanting to stick around for the longterm.
Thanks again for tuning into today’s episode and look forward to bring you lots of great more content. Lots of great more content, lots of great content next week. Take care guys.
