In this episode of The Self-Confidence Project, I share how you can identify if the woman you’re dating values physical intimacy. I will highlight five key signs to look for, and four questions you can ask a woman on a date to determine her view on physical closeness. If you value physical intimacy and want to date with this value, then you don’t want to miss today’s episode.
If you’re dating after divorce, separation or a long-term split, and want support navigating dating with clarity and confidence, then let’s have a chat.
Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of the self-confidence project. I am your host, Kimberly, and I’m excited to bring you today’s podcast video, because what I want to share with you today is how you guys can identify whether the woman you are dating and getting to know actually values. Physical intimacy.
Okay. So this is a big one for many of you, because guys that are dating after divorce, after separation, after the end of a long-term relationship. Might recognize that in their prior relationship, one of the things that was lacking. I was physical intimacy. Now it’s not all too uncommon for physical intimacy to dwindle towards the end of a relationship.
But for some of you, you might recognize that your predominant love language. You don’t know love languages. It just means how you receive love. Is physical contact, physical intimacy. Now this exists on a scale, right? It’s everything from handholding to cuddles to what you do behind closed doors. Now I had a client mark. [00:01:00] He was 45.
He was newly divorced after a 15 year marriage that really lacked physical connection. Right. His ex wife had grown increasingly distant over the years. Uh, she was avoiding conversations about intimacy and really just rarely engaged in physical intimacy altogether. And so mark. Uh, basically convinced himself that his desires for healthy, active sex life had become selfish or maybe even on realistic. Now, uh, obviously that they did get divorced and when he was dating a guy and he was quite hesitant to do so, because he didn’t just want a relationship.
He wanted one where physical intimacy was prioritized and sometimes even celebrated. But to be fair when he first started getting out there and meeting new women, his first couple of attempts left him quite disheartened, right. One woman admitted to him on a date that she just didn’t find sex particularly important at her age. And another woman that he went out and dated [00:02:00] actually. He dismissed his attempts to flirt with her. And actually called him immature. So he was just feeling really overwhelmed and started to convince himself that women just don’t value physical intimacy, the same way he does.
And that he’s just not going to find that kind of relationship that he’s really desiring, but he then met. His current partner. And when they went out on their first date, he recognized the warmth and flirtation, which is on deniable. She was making playful eye contact with him. She was laughing openly, um, and she didn’t shy away from his teasing and flirting.
In fact, she was complimenting him on his confidence and, uh, on their date, she was initiating. Uh, physical contact during their conversation, all signs and things I’m going to go into in more detail that gave an indication that this woman actually valued physical intimacy. So their connection deepened. Um, and obviously her approach to physical intimacy became very clear for [00:03:00] mark.
She actually saw SACS and physical touch. As an essential part of a healthy relationship. Um, and as a way for them to connect emotionally as well. So they have, you know, moved on to have the type of relationship that mark was always desiring and had never found in his prior relationship. Now, if you have had a similar experience or you’re afraid you’re going to have a similar experience that marked it in the early phases of dating, then this podcast episode is going to help reveal how you can spot a woman who actually values physical intimacy so that if you’re not seeing these. Signs, you know, after a couple of dates and after the connection between you is deepening, then you may decide that this isn’t the right woman for you.
If operative word, if you highly value physical intimacy. And I bet that most of you that are watching this video do because otherwise, why would you have tuned in so. Five signs on how you can spot a woman who values physical intimacy. [00:04:00] Now the first is quite blatantly. She’s going to be comfortable talking about sex.
Now, when I say this, that doesn’t mean that she’s going to bring it up on the first date or she’s going to boast about it, or she’s going to be overtly sexual. What I mean is that a woman when the time is right between the two of you, as you progress, getting to know one another, she isn’t going to be afraid to discuss sex.
Okay. So early on, she might actually hint at her openness on this topic by being playful, by being flirtatious or, you know, by, you know, responding well to your comments. And as the relationship progresses with her, she’s going to actually begin opening up about her needs and encourage you to share yours.
Now this can be done the other way around. Okay guys. So as you’re getting to know a woman, when you know that the timing is right. As a connection is developing between you. You might actually take the lead in being clear about your needs. Uh, and [00:05:00] desires physically in a relationship and not as going to either encourage her to open up and share hers, or she is going to. Shot down completely because this is not something she’s comfortable with nor is it something she value.
So number one, Key point you want to look out for is when the timing is appropriate. Guys, is this woman actually comfortable talking about sex? And intimacy big one here. Okay. You don’t want to be avoiding this on your dates, uh, but you certainly don’t want to be pushing for. You know, this rate away because a woman does need to get comfortable with you before.
She’s probably comfortable talking about sex with you. So keep this one in your back pocket. But check for this as your relationship progresses. Okay. Now second. Cool. You want to look out for, is. Does she show affection towards you in even small ways. So you want to begin noticing how this woman engages physically during your dates [00:06:00] physically, right?
Does she initiate small touches? You know, does she give you a hug? Does she go reaching for your hand? Does she give you playful? Nudges? Does she kind of lean in closer? Is she comfortable getting near you physically? Because these subtle cues can often indicate her comfort with and desire for physical connection.
Now, some women are very shut down in this area and so they are going to create distance between the two of you. They’re going to shut down those unwanted advances. Um, and they’re just going to be a little bit generally like. I say the word frigid a little bit frigid and uncomfortable with you getting close to them, or even just touching them because this is just not something that they’re comfortable with. Nor do they value it.
So look out for whether or not she’s affectionate and even though small and subtle ways now. Third sign here guys is she’s going to be showing confidence in her body and her sexuality. Now again, remember this doesn’t have to be overtly. It doesn’t mean that [00:07:00] she’s going to wear. The lowest co blouse or have parts of her body showing, but a woman who actually values physical intimacy is going to just be naturally comfortable in her own skin.
Now, again, it’s not about flaunting it, but she’s going to demonstrate this confidence through how she carries herself. Can she make eye contact with you? Eye contact is, you know, You know, our eyes are the windows to our soul, and we tend to avoid eye contact with people when we’re uncomfortable with that person or uncomfortable in ourselves.
So you want to look out for how she carries herself, how well she can make eye contact with you, especially in those sometimes flirtatious and sexy moments. She look away as a flirtatious thing to do because we get shy and bashful, but does she avoid connecting with you during those moments? And you want to gauge how well she responds to compliments. Can’t you take a compliment and can she be playful back or does it make her on comfortable? Does she show [00:08:00] confidence in her body and sexuality?
No. The forest signs you guys force on, you guys want to look out for is. Energetic K energy. Does she match your energy in flirtation? Now when you are being flirty or teasing her or playful with her sometimes a little bit physically. Does she reciprocate this when you flirt? Does she engage? Does she laughed?
Does she playfully tease you back? Because if she does, this is a very strong sign that she enjoys building physical chemistry with you. Okay. And the fifth sign guys, the last fine sign you want to look out for is whether or not this woman actually values. Quality time alone with you. Right. Seems obvious, but a woman who prioritizes physical intimacy. Is also going to be looking for opportunities to deepen the connection with you in a private setting.
Now, this is actually going to signal her interest in physical closeness as your relationship. [00:09:00] Grows. So if she always wants to go out to dinner, Or she always wants to be out in a public setting, or she always needs to be around other people than this is how we keep ourselves at a distance from someone.
This is how we keep ourselves safe from someone. So over time, again, as it’s appropriate, as your comfort grows, does she lean into having quality private time with you? Because this is where the doorway opens for your physical closeness to develop and to grow. So. Does she. Does she feel comfortable actually spending time with just you and a setting or a place where physical intimacy is more possible? All right. Kind of possible everywhere, depending on how. And crazy and adventurous and you are, but really, I mean, in the context of your private setting, like your home or her home, Um, when the kids are not around or when you know, other people are not going to be disturbing you, so guys, these are five signs, right? [00:10:00] Number one, she’s comfortable talking about sex too.
She’s affectionate in small ways. Three, she shows confidence in her body and sexuality four. She matches your energy and flirtation. And five, she values quality time alone with you. Now, as you’re out there dating guys, I want to just share with you four questions that you can consider. You can ponder, um, that you can bring up these topics with a woman naturally and respectfully as your connection is growing. These questions will help you to get a better understanding on her view of physical intimacy.
If you’re noticing some of these signs, but maybe just also want to bring up the conversation with her. Now, question number one is what’s something that makes you feel really connected to someone in a relationship. Right. You can ask or what makes you feel really connected to the person you love in a relationship? Okay, because her response is going to hint at whether physical closeness is part of her relationship priorities. With something [00:11:00] that makes her feel really connected all when my partner goes out of the way for me, acts of service.
When my partner brings me home, a really beautiful gift. Maybe she likes receiving gifts, but what is something that makes her feel really connected to someone in a relationship? Does she say, I love DV, meaningful hugs are cuddling on the couch or just laying in bed together on a Sunday. Look out for these types of clues, or maybe she’s even going to just say, look, physical intimacy is a really big priority for me. Right.
And then you’re going to have some of your answers that you are seeking guys. Now, secondly, you can just simply ask her, what is her love language. If you don’t know what love languages are. You can check out. Uh, Gary Chapman’s website, where he does a love languages quiz to help you understand the five ways that people receive love and whether or not, um, she’s familiar with this or not.
She’s either going to know that physical intimacy is high on her list, or she might admit that it is the lowest one on her list. So if her answer [00:12:00] includes physical touch, right, then it’s a clear sign that she values affection and she values physical intimacy. And you’re starting to get some of the clarity that. You are seeking now. You can also ask her this third question, which is what’s your ideal date night, right?
This is going to give an indication of her vision on whether it includes cozy one-on-one time or whether she values that affection and physical intimacy or for ideal date night. Is a five-star restaurant. Right. And you can ask her, what are some of your ideal date nights? Because one answer in one experience, doesn’t always dictate the whole person.
So, you know, what are some of your ideal date nights that we could do together? This will give you an indication of what she likes to do and how she wants to spend time with you. Right? And lastly, as a fourth question, you can ask a woman as you’re getting to know her, to understand her gauge on physical intimacy. Is. Pardon me?
What do you think makes a great. [00:13:00] Sex life in a relationship there is. No reason you can’t ask a woman that you’re getting to know this question it’s direct. But as an open-ended question that invites a candid discussion about her values on physical intimacy. And when you’re out there dating and getting to know a woman, it is your right to understand whether she values things that align with you and whether she’s going to be compatible in your life.
There’s nothing wrong with actually having a little bit more of a direct approach to understand this. Woman and what she values now, again, you’re probably not going to ask this on a first date, right. Because you know, women want to be pursued and we want to open up over time and we’re not just going to put it all out on the table on date.
Number one, we need to feel that connection with you. But when it’s appropriate when the time is right, you can be a little more bold and say, what do you think makes a great sex life in a relationship? Now, just an important point to remember. Of course physical intimacy is going to matter for many women. But [00:14:00] also it’s important to understand that physical intimacy is so much more than just attraction, right?
For many women, physical intimacy. Is something that comes when there’s connection, when there’s trust. When there are shared vulnerability. Right. So after navigating a lot of life’s challenges and relationships, women who are a little older, um, want to make sure that they have a partner who listens and communicates about desires. Right.
Really women value someone who sees intimacy as a partnership. Partnership, not just a performance. This is mutual, right? And sometimes for women, the mutuality begins like before the bedroom. So remember that, you know, physical intimacy alone is usually not enough for a woman. They do need to have the other elements too, as I know you guys do as well.
So connection trust, shared vulnerability. Women also prioritizing emotional safety. As the foundation for physical connection. So a woman who value sex is [00:15:00] often going to want to feel emotionally connected first. So there’s other videos that I do on how to create that emotional connection guys. This is hugely important skill that was going to set you up for success in. Any relations. Chip that you have now, the last thing is that women are going to be seeking authenticity. And of course, playfulness in the bedroom.
Right. Many women at this stage, you’re going to crave a partner who’s confident, but willing to explore and have some fun together. So when you meet a woman who values physical intimacy, you’re going to notice that she sees sex as an extension of emotional closeness. And as a key component for a thriving relationship.
So just like mark, who understood that, finding a woman who values physical intimacy. Is not just possible. It’s really transformative. If you guys stay attuned to these signs, you’re bold enough to ask the right questions at the appropriate time. And you focus on building trust and communication. You are going to attract the right type [00:16:00] of woman into your life and create a relationship that ultimately fulfills both your emotional and physical needs, which is what I want for you.
Handsome men out there that are dating again after a divorce, a separation, or the end of a longterm relationship. So thank you very much for tuning into today’s video. Drop your comments below. I’d. Love to hear what you think of this content. If you want more about how to attract women. That’s a value, particular things in our relationship.
And of course, please share this with someone that might need to understand this little nuance stuff about dating and relationships as always a pleasure guys. Thank you for giving me your valuable time. Talk to you next week.
