Welcome back to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project. Today we’re diving deep into how to create natural sexual chemistry with women. Whether you’re dating after a divorce, a separation, or a failed relationship, discovering genuine connections and building mutual attraction without forcing it is key. I’ll share strategies on being present, mastering subtle touch, using humor, exuding confidence, and creating emotional intimacy. Plus, stay until the end to learn how engaging in seemingly unrelated activities can spark desire.
If you’re a successful man with relationship experience who is frustrated with your current dating life and looking to attract the right type of woman, book a dating strategy call with me here: Book a call with Kimberly
Check out my audio masterclass on talking to women here.
Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of the self-confidence project. I am your host, Kimberly, and I’m a men’s dating and relationship coach. And today I want to share with you in this video, how you can create natural sexual chemistry with women, not forced chemistry, not memorizing stuff that someone wants told you might work with one type of woman in one type of environment, but honestly, about how you guys can foster genuine connections, confidence, and mutual attractions without forcing. Anything.
Right? Because sexual chemistry guys is something that arises when two people feel that sense of magnetism. What is this magnetism? Its decision to save quads is feeling this tension that we get between. Somebody that we are really drawn to and attracted to. So what gets women there now? That’s what I’m going to unpack in today’s video.
I also want you to say all the way to the end of the video, because towards the end, I’m going to share with you how this can [00:01:00] happen to you and a woman seemingly when doing something completely unrelated. So if that intrigues you, you’re going to want to stay to the very end of this video. Now, before I dive in guys, if you are. Our dating after a divorce or a separation. Or after a long-term relationship has ended, and maybe you’ve gone back into the dating field.
You’ve gotten into a quick relationship. Uh, that relationship might have exploded, right. It didn’t work out and now you’re dating again. Okay. So you’re divorced, you’re dated it didn’t work out now you’re dating again and you’re going, what. Gives why is dating feeling so frustrated? Why aren’t I attracting the right types of women to me?
Why is this whole process just feeling like it’s getting away from me guys. If this is the position you are in, I invite you to book a complimentary dating strategy call with me. Uh, we’re going to talk about what is holding you back. What are some things you need to do? So you can figure out a step-by-step plan guys to attract the right types of women into your life.
So you can go on to [00:02:00] have deeply loving and meaningful connections. That is my mission. This is what I do to support men. So if you’re listening to this video or you’ve seen my content before, and you’re going, I really do want to make some progress here. Let’s have a call. Let’s find out if we’re a good fit.
See if I can support you with. My expertise and how I’ve supported many other men like you to go on to find deeply loving, uh, rewarding relationships with great women now creating natural sexual chemistry. Right? How can you, as a guy learned to develop this naturally? Well, firstly, the first thing you want to be focusing guys is focusing on being present, not on. Performance. Okay. Sexual chemistry, thrives eyes.
When you are present with a woman. This means you’re giving her your undivided attention, not split attention, not half on the phone, half on her half on her half on the pretty waitress, half on her half on the [00:03:00] cold food on your plate, right. It’s undivided attention, which means that if you want to spend time with a woman, I spend quality time with her.
Don’t just spend tons of time with her, where you’re always distracted and unmoved by her, but carve out time where you could actually give her undivided attention. You’re actively listening to her and you’re responding to what she is saying with curiosity. Why? Because you’re actually wanting to be there.
You’re really focused on the present moment. Not on performing guys. If she’s sharing a story about her favorite travel destination, then you’re going to lean in slightly. You’re going to maintain some good eye contact. You’re going to ask great follow-up questions. Hey, what were the most memorable parts of that trip for you?
This is going to show genuine interest, and these are the things that build sexual chemistry with women seems counterintuitive, but it does because it creates a dynamic where this woman feels. As seen and feels [00:04:00] valued. Now, this is a precursor for female desire. Now, guys, you also want to start mastering the power. Of subtle touch.
Don’t be afraid to use these delightful hands, right? Touches of a key component of sexual chemistry. But you need to learn how to do this naturally on respectfully. So light incidental touches like brushing her hand. When you hand her a drink or touching her arm briefly during a laugh, you lean and you touch her arm, right.
This stuff can create a real natural spark. So when you walk this woman into a restaurant, you’re going to lightly. Lightly guide her by touching the small of her back. Right. You’re going to see this one in movies, if it’s appropriate, right. If it’s consensual, this is going to convey confidence. You’re also a little bit of an authority figure here where you’re kind of leading her into the restaurant or the venue or wherever you’re going, and it can be a protective yet, a non dominating. [00:05:00] Presence, right.
You’re not pushing her. You’re guiding her. You’re you’re keeping her safe from all the other scary people out there. Right? So this is mastering the power of subtle touch, not being afraid to do these light incidental touches and they will progress throughout an evening. As you are building more chemistry and trust and safety and attunement with this woman.
Okay. So mastering the power of subtle touch. Now of course, guys, when it comes to creating natural sexual chemistry in that magnetism, it’s going. Happen when humor is involved, humorous. So much a part of our lives. When you have playful banter, when you can incorporate humor. It creates that lightness, that fun energy that is so essential for chemistry, it’s going to help build that tension in a way that feels natural and enjoyable because humor and banter and flirtation is natural.
And it is enjoyable. Of course, guys, when she’s already, [00:06:00] you know, feeling safe, feeling heard, feeling listened to. Right. So if she is teasing you about something guys lean into that, right. You’re. Oh, you’re starting to know me too well. Should I be worried? You know, this playful back and forth is going to add this flirtatious layer into building that sexual attraction and connection without feeling contrived or forced.
So if she’s teasing you, this is a good sign. You can also lightly tease her back now. How can you exude confidence without being arrogant here? Right? Because sometimes guys want to be playful and be witty and be a little flirty, but you don’t want to beat arrogant. Right. Because. But arrogance is like the antidote to sexual chemistry for women, they think, oh, this guy is whole of himself.
I, he doesn’t need me to fill his boots. He’s already stroked his ego enough. Right. So. Women love the confidence. So the confidence is so magnetic and this has to come from a place of self [00:07:00] assurance rather than trying to impress her rights. This goes back to focusing on the moment. So. Guys being comfortable in your own skin is going to allow her to feel comfortable around you. This is a big tip. Are you comfortable in your own skin?
Do you like who you are? Because if you don’t, it’s going to be really hard to exude confidence with a woman. So you may want to make sure that you’re in a place of your life, where at least you are working on your self and working on your confidence, you don’t need to be perfect. There is no perfect ideal. But if there’s something that you’re struggling with or not liking, don’t ignore it, deal with it because then you’re going to be able to confidently say, yeah, I’m working on those parts of myself.
And I am confident in who I am, because I know that I’m in control of where I’m headed and where I’m going and what I’m doing. Right. You guys want to exude confidence, not arrogance. So if you’re a little unsure about something on a date, like, I don’t know, buys, maybe you don’t know wine, but you met a girl and she’s into [00:08:00] wine, but you know, your. We’re supposed to be the one that orders, right.
You don’t really know what to order. You’re feeling a little unsure about it. Own it. When we try to use our energy to sweep something under the carpet, like pretending we don’t know about something. Um, then you know, that energy comes out and nervousness and irritability and, and, and disconnect. Right?
So you could actually say to her. I’m clueless about wine. Do you want to impress me with your expertise? Right? This vulnerability paired with that self-assuredness is incredibly attractive guys. So sometimes when you are on a date or out with a woman and something comes up that you’re not so sure about, or it’s not your expertise or skill, then lean into the fact that it isn’t a skill or an expert area for you.
Because again, it’s that humbleness that is going to make her feel comfortable around you. Sidebar. Now this is something that my partner has [00:09:00] done, um, throughout our relationship, because there are things that I’m better than him at. And of course, vice versa, right? Like he’s the expert. When it comes to driving and changing a tire stereotypical, it might be. And honestly, I’m, I’m better in the kitchen.
So when he cooks a meal, he’ll say like, I’m not sure what to do. Come help me out. Sexy lady. And you know what I want to do. I want to kind of help him out because he’s leaning into the fact that it’s not his area of expertise and he’s not pretending that it is by being arrogant. Okay. Guys, you want to also make sure you’re really attuned to her energy.
I use this word a lot. Attunement is so important. Some people go like, what are you talking about? What is a tune man? This is, this is really like that energetic connection that you could have with a woman. It’s understanding her pace. Her speed in the evening, her comfort level, understanding this is really critical.
Now chemistry guys, natural chemistry is going to develop between you and a [00:10:00] woman. When you can match her energy. But also lead confidently when appropriate. So here’s an example to understand this. If she seems really shy on your date, then you are going to ease into conversation with her with nice open-ended questions or observations about your surrounding rather than overwhelming her with rapid fire questions, which is what I did to my partner on our first date.
I was like, apparently he said it felt like he was on an interview, but anyways, Okay. So if she’s outgoing, then you’re going to match that enthusiasm with your own, right? This is about a tuning to that energy, right? It’s also something that is practice in neuro-linguistic programming. It’s also called mirroring, right?
It’s making sure that if she’s really quick and fast paced, that you can kind of match her energy, even then you can slightly lead it into a more calm direction. Right. But if she’s high pitched and you’re [00:11:00] really quiet, you’re going to be disconnected. Um, and that’s not going to create the foundation for that sexual attraction that I am here to talk to you guys about.
Right. So how about also practicing a little bit of that eye contact? Now we know that the eyes are the windows to the soul. And eye contact is one of the most powerful tools for building chemistry. When you do this with warmth and without staring, right, you do cheeky, little glances, you look, and then you look away.
Or if you’re really comfortable with someone and you do a little bit of eye gazing. This is really, really powerful. It creates a very electric connection. When a woman is sexually interested in a guy, she’s going to look at him, but more than once, right? If a woman is just like walking into a room and you don’t know this woman, she’s going to look at everybody because she is constantly making sure she is safe and checking her surroundings.
But if you’re on a date with a woman, And she’s a little shy, but she’s glancing at you or she’s like staring at particular [00:12:00] features or she does look in your eyes a little bit. Um, yeah, this is going to create a little bit of that nervousness, that shyness, because who knows what crazy thing she’s thinking about you and her mind and vice versa.
Right? So when you hold. Her gaze slightly longer than usual when she is speaking. And then you smile and you nod to show you’re engaged. This is going to create that natural sexual chemistry. When you pair this with the occasional glance at her mouth, her lips is very subtle by the way, very subtle, but it’s very effective.
You’re looking at her. Then you look at her beautiful lips. This is going to build that sexual tension between the two of you guys. So this leads into what’s called balancing mystery and vulnerability. So this is another thing you’re going to do to naturally build that sexual tension. Now, maybe you’re on a date.
She wants her to learn a little about bit about you. Esther Perel. Uh, she’s a great [00:13:00] psychotherapist. When it comes to relationships, she made this beautiful quote that said intimacy needs closeness. But desire needs mystery. Right. So sexual chemistry often involves a little bit of intrigue and mystery.
So maybe you’re out on a date and this woman is asking about your past relationships. Very common question. Well, guys, you’re not going to give her a full breakdown. Immediately. Regulars are going to give all this information away, right? You’re not going to share all the facts about your past relationship, which might, you might have a tendency to do that and be like, oh, I felt really comfortable sharing with her, but you might actually want to say something along the lines. Lines of well, I’ve actually learned a lot about myself through my past relationships, but I’d rather hear about your experiences first.
Now this is going to invite some mutual sharing and it’s going to add depth to your conversation without you just. First bonding verbatim to her question and saying, yeah, well, let me tell you all the details of my nasty, messy divorce, [00:14:00] right? Not really going to lead to the sexual chemistry. You guys are here to figure out right now.
What about using that alluring, sexy voice of yours as a tool? The tone, the pace of your voice can highly influence. How a woman perceives you. If you have a calm voice, a low voice, a deliberate voice. It conveys confidence. It is often perceived as sexy. A guy who is self-assured, who is confident in himself.
He is not rushing nothing because he knows he doesn’t need to rush the date to get what he wants. Right. A guy who was confident and self-assured, he is cool as a cucumber. So when you are sharing a story, Slow down a little bit. Slow your speech down lately. Lower your tone during key parts of your story, especially if the moment becomes a little more intimate or reflective guy [00:15:00] that using your voice as a tool is going to be really important to a tuning to making that connection, to creating that mystery to just you coming across as a self-assured and very confident. Man now of course sexual attraction is going to be developed through beautiful compliments, unique, genuine compliments ones that focus on her personality, her actions, her energy versus her appearance.
Although appearance compliments are just fine. The other ones are going to spark a deeper connection. So it’s tempting to say you’re really beautiful, which you can say, but you can also say something like, I really love the way you light up. When you talk about things you’re passionate about. I might just get so hard, right guys, this conveys attentiveness and admiration for who this woman is not just how she looks, even though she would have put effort into that too. She wants to be loved for more than that.
[00:16:00] Right. Okay, now I got it. I want you guys to understand the role of tension now. Sexual chemistry built through a sense of anticipation. A little bit of push and full pole, right? So this can be created through that teasing. Um, sometimes it’s actually through withholding immediate gratification. Oh, you can’t kiss me yet.
Or allowing moments of silence to linger a little bit. So if you might be discussing where to go for dessert. And she suggests a great place to try respond with. That’s a good choice, but I think I’ve got a better spot in mind. You’ll just have to trust me. This is a little bit playful. This is a little mysterious.
This keeps things intriguing, guys. If you don’t know where to go or where to take a woman or any of these suggestions, do a little homework first, so that you’re able to be playful and mysterious, right? You need to. No a little bit about how [00:17:00] to lead a woman. If you in fact plan to lead a woman somewhere in particular.
So guys, I want you to also remember that cultivating emotional intimacy might not seem very sexy, but in fact, Uh, sexual chemistry. Isn’t just physical. It’s so much more emotional for women in particular. I know it is for you guys too. So. On your dates, as you get to know, women share meaningful stories or experiences that highlights. You know, your values, your personality, talk about challenges.
You’ve overcome some things that you’re passionate about in life. Like. I don’t know, maybe you’re into building furniture, right. Building furniture. Isn’t just something you do on Saturdays. Building furniture has taught you patience and attention to detail. Maybe it’s really oddly therapeutic for you, right?
This is intriguing and attractive to a woman. Not just I build stools.
Right vulnerability. Talking about yourself, but the stories and the [00:18:00] things you’ve learned is going to build trust and create deeper attraction. Now, I promise that if you would stay to the very end of this video that I would share with you, how doing something seemingly unrelated. Can lead to something very sexy.
Now, for example, let’s say you’re on a date with a woman and you happen to be talking about food, or maybe you’re talking about travel. How can travel, talk, turn into desire, right? Like how does talking about where you’re going turn into desire? Well, when a woman is opening up and sharing stories about. Let’s say where she loves traveling.
She’s not just recounting the facts, right? She’s inviting you into her world. So if you guys are fully present, like I said, you need to be, if you’re listening with genuine curiosity, you’re responding with this warmth and interest, she’s going to start to feel emotionally connected to you. Now that connection taps into this woman’s brain. Right.
It gets into her deeper sense of attraction because she feels. This guy [00:19:00] gets me. Right. He’s so attentive. And he’s so engaged. And he values my thoughts and experiences, but she’s not going to think of it that way. She’s going to think this guy really gets me. Right. And then as the deeper emotional connection bills, and you’re gently touching her and you’re gazing into her eyes and doing all these things, she’s going to go. I really feel like I can trust this guy. Right because emotional safety is a precursor to physical desire for women.
So if she feels safe, her guard lowers and her attraction for you, deepens fans guy really gets me really feel like I can trust this person. I feel like I’ve known him for years, right? Then this energy between you can become playful and intriguing and intimate. Even if the conversation itself is lighthearted and she’s going to go, I’m feeling this spark.
I don’t understand where it came from. We’re talking about traveling, but. He gets me. I can trust them. There’s this amazing spark taking place. He’s looking at my lips. Oh my God. Are we going to go in the bathroom? I don’t know, [00:20:00] maybe not. Right, but these things are building up for a woman because you can build this, create a connection and intimacy and vulnerability, and you’re attuned to her.
And this is the precursor for a woman to feel really, really, really connected and therefore very sexually energized towards you now. Guys remember that women’s connection is more important over explicitness. Women do not need you to directly bring up sex or flirt explicitly for her to feel desire. Okay. What they are craving is an emotional and energetic connection that builds the kind of tension. That makes chemistry undeniable, right? I contact the way you lean in your laughter and smile, the conversation, the attentiveness, the attunement, all of that is what’s going to allow a woman to go like, wow.
I feel really connected to this guy case in point first date with my partner, we were disconnected when we first [00:21:00] met. And I wasn’t really sure about first impressions. Neither was he, when we sat down and things got a little more comfortable, we started to attune to each other. The conversations got better.
He was very interested in me and not interested in anyone else around me, which made me feel very. You know, like the object of his desire and attention, like I was worth listening to it made me feel comfortable. Then his chair moved closer. We sat closer. We would want another throughout the evening, after a drink, he put his hand on my lap.
I did not move away. I was getting even more comfortable with him. I was thinking, wow, this guy gets me. Wow. I can trust him. Ooh, there’s this spark building. And of course it led to him, gentlemen, Lee walking me to my car and kissing me goodnight. And the rest is history guys. So it’s really important that understanding sexual chemistry actually doesn’t have to necessarily do with explicit sex conversation or being overly flirtatious. [00:22:00]
This shared connection that you’re going to create is far more seductive to women. Then any explicit comment you make and I guarantee you women and my friend just recently shared with me something that a man shared with her that was quite explicit and it turned her off completely because when this got sent to her, she was not in the right moment.
It was just overwhelming for her. Um, so women are not consciously thinking, wow, this is sexy. Uh, we’re, we’re relying on that inner feeling. That we have the feeling that grows, that poles, poles us to that part of our body and mind where we think, wow, I’m really connected to this person. I’m really drawn to this person.
Okay. So this is the video that you guys need in your back pocket to understand how to actually build that genuine sexual chemistry with a woman. That a woman doesn’t need explicit messages from you. She needs on divided attention and listening and connectivity and [00:23:00] curiosity, the same things that you guys are really desiring from women too.
So you can foster genuine loving connections and can have a little bit of that mystery and novelty and fun happening on your dates and in your relationships guys, thank you so much for listening to this video, drop your comments below, share this with someone that needs this little helpful reminder of what can actually work to. Build sexual chemistry. Uh, and if you are dating again after divorce, a split, a separation, it’s frustrating for you.
Please. Don’t hesitate to book a call with me and look forward to seeing you guys all next week. Ciao.
