Welcome back to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project. Today we’re diving into why younger women might be interested in dating older men. This episode is for men dating after a divorce, separation, or after a long-term relationship. I’ll also share important considerations if you’re thinking about dating someone significantly younger and the potential challenges that may arise (bookmark these for later!)
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Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the self confidence project. I’m your host, Kimberly. I’m excited to dive into today’s juicy video because if you are a man that is dating after divorce, after a separation, after the end of a long term relationship, or you’re a man that’s dating that just tends to be older and wiser than today’s video is going to share with you why younger women might actually be more interested in you than you think.
And a couple of considerations that you definitely want to be mindful of guys, if you are considering dating a younger woman. Now I’m not talking about younger by a year, two years, three years, four years. I’m really talking about if you’re going to be dating a woman. That’s 10, 15, potentially even 20 years younger than you.
Okay. So you might be recognizing that this dynamic is becoming more common and let me just stop you haters right here. Okay. It’s not just about money and it’s [00:01:00] not just about looks. Now, yes, there are women out there that are attracted to men just for those things. We’re not talking about those women.
Can we put those women over here for a minute and actually talk about why Other women that aren’t just motivated by those two objectives might actually be interested in dating you and some things you probably want to be considering guys if you are. You know, I’m going to be rocking the cradle. Now, if you’re new to this channel, welcome aboard.
My name is Kimberly Hill. And I’m a men’s dating and relationship coach and I help good hearted men navigate, uh, dating and attract deeply loving relationships. Okay. And this channel talks all about the crazy wackiness of dating and flirting and sexual chemistry and navigating dating apps and all the bits and pieces that are probably just being thrust your way.
If you were dating again after a divorce, a separation, or a long term relationship. And if you’re new to this channel, please subscribe if you enjoy the content. Leave your comments below as well. It helps to, um, you know, you know, [00:02:00] push the algorithm and get this out to more people. And this is why I create this content for you guys, right?
For you to enjoy it and for you to learn something. Now, why are younger women drawn to older men? Okay. So we’ve got money and looks out of the way. So you don’t have to worry about commenting that below. I’ve taken care of that one guys. But some other more substantial reasons why women are going to be interested in older men.
First and foremost is the hope, right? Because this isn’t always the case, but the hope that. Older men are going to be more emotionally mature and stable. Now this doesn’t mean that young men aren’t and old men are, but there is this general feeling for women that an older man is going to be more mature and more stable.
No, not just stable financially. I’m talking about more emotionally grounded. More patient, hopefully more secure in themselves. And this is what provides a sense of [00:03:00] safety and stability that many younger women. appreciate and in fact they need this for their relationships and younger men can often struggle with emotional regulation and communication because this is a learned skill.
It takes time. It takes practice to figure out how to have conflict and hard conversations and deal with ever changing emotions. So women might just be attracted to you guys because they are hoping that you’re more emotionally mature and stable and older men tend to So that is one motivating factor, guys.
Now, another reason why younger women, 10, 15, 20 years younger than you, maybe even more, might be attracted to you, um, is that, you know, there’s this kind of saying that confidence comes with experience. So there is a good chance that you’ve been through a relationship. You have been through challenges. You have had time to [00:04:00] personally grow in your life.
Hopefully you know what you want and you’re not Seeking validation like younger men might be doing. Think of young men in their twenties, young women in their twenties that are just getting out there. They’re in university. They’re dating for the first time. They’re coming into female attention. It feels good.
It’s validating. It’s boosting their ego. And now that now they’re chasing that, right? Whereas the hope is that when women are attracted to older men, that older men, aren’t running around trying to seek female validation like those younger men. And so women are going to be naturally gravitating towards older men because they believe that these men are self assured, that they are decisive.
And that is super refreshing to younger Women. Now you’re noticing a trend here that a lot of younger women are going to be attracted to men because of confidence, stability, experience, wisdom. These are all things working in your favor guys, [00:05:00] right? Also, women really love when men have a purpose and a direction in life.
And so it’s no fault of younger men that they’re just trying to figure this out. Who do I want to be? What do I want to do for work? Do I want to travel, take a gap year? You know, do I want to live in Boston? Do I want to move to Canada? What do I want to do with my life? And it’s natural that younger men are trying to sort through this and figure this out.
Well, you know, that’s fine. But for some women, they might not want to invest themselves into a relationship or a man that, you know, might change his mind or change careers or decide to move across the country or, you know, radically make some new decisions in his life. So women are going to be attracted to men because they You are under the impression that some of the older men have really built something for themselves.
They have a clear sense of direction in their lives. Now, men, if you’re struggling with all of these things, because you’re, you know, thrust back into modern dating after a divorce, it’s [00:06:00] It’s no, divorce men are no stranger to having identity shakeups, let’s call them, right, because you’re recognizing that you have freedom you didn’t have when you were married, that you are rebuilding your community and social networks because oftentimes Social, your social life is going to struggle after a divorce.
Um, and so you might also be feeling like you’re back into your twenties and you don’t have this purpose and direction and all these different things. It’s really important that you sort that out for yourself, not so you can attract younger women, but just so that you can feel content and satisfied in your own life.
That’s super, super important because if you do feel satisfied, Emotionally composed and content in your life. Oh boy, you’ll be amazed what type of women you’re going to start attracting to you. Young ones, older ones, quirky ones, wild ones. But also really healthy women that are looking for a healthy man to have a beautiful relationship with.
Now women are [00:07:00] also going to be attracted to older men because there’s a little bit more of a sophisticated approach to relationships. Now, younger men, if they’re seeking female validation or making big life decisions and changing those on a whim, sometimes, um, well, women can find these men a little flaky or maybe noncommittal.
Maybe these men are a little unclear in their intentions because they just don’t. Um, and so, you know, older men tend to bring a little bit of clarity and directness and maturity into relationships. Um, and that’s going to eliminate games for women. Um, it’s going to eliminate some uncertainty that women really dislike in modern dating.
Same as you guys. You don’t, you don’t, nobody likes. Um, and of course, younger women are going to be attracted to you old, wise, good looking men because of the idea, right, of financial stability. And this isn’t just about how much money is in your bank account. Um, you know, [00:08:00] money isn’t always the reason in it of itself.
It’s the idea that you’re stable, you have a mortgage, you’ve been able to pay your mortgage on time. There’s, there’s consistency in your financial behavior and that stability is attractive. So it’s so much more about having the ability to be able to go out and enjoy experiences, live life on your own terms without having the financial stress that, you know, younger men and women tend to have too, if you’re paying off university debt or travel debt or.
Transcripts provided by Transcription Outsourcing, LLC. I have a client right now that I am thinking about that’s dating again after divorce that really checks all these boxes. He’s got his financial life together. He’s, you know, he’s got his social life together. He’s really emotionally composed and he is having to flick them women away because [00:09:00] they are very, very attracted to him.
Younger women, women in the same age as him. And of course, even older women. So, Last reason here, guys, why women are going to be attracted to older, wiser men is because of that intellectual and emotional depth that comes with experience. Younger women crave deeper, meaningful conversations. So are you going to be craving that?
And of course, if you’ve had a little more life experience, then of course, you’re naturally going to be able to bring a little more insight and wisdom and hopefully thought provoking. Discussions to your dates, to your life. And this creates guys a different level of attraction beyond just physical chemistry.
So for you bad boys that are dating again after divorce, and you’re thinking, why are these young women attracted to me? Or how can I get women to become attracted to me? Um, it has a lot to do with you being satisfied in your own life and having stability in the [00:10:00] sense of. Your social life is stable. Your financial life is stable, or you’re working towards that stability.
Um, you know, your physical health is stable. There’s just stability in your life, and that is Such a leading indicator of attractiveness for women of all ages, especially younger women. Now before we all get too excited about you going out there and dating women 20 years younger than you, I also want to just caution you about large age gaps and how these can actually pose, uh, to be quite challenging for you guys and for your relationships.
So let’s be honest, nothing wrong with having Young, beautiful women attracted to you, but doesn’t necessarily mean that that’s the woman you want to have a committed loving longterm relationship with. And that is because you might just notice you have some really wild lifestyle incompatibilities, right?
Your priorities in life, your routines might be really [00:11:00] different. Now, while women might be craving this emotional maturity and stability, Maybe they don’t really know what they’re doing in their life and they’re like a tornado and they’re not sure what decisions they’re making or where they’re going or, you know, all these types of things.
And maybe your lifestyle incompatibility in terms of how you like to socialize is going to be different. What if you’re dating a younger woman? And who so wants to party and go explore and stay at hostels or just drink all night long. Or she’s experimenting with drugs and you’re like, uh, no, I’m kind of done with that lady.
I’m uh, I’m into my quiet nights and stability and reading my good books and having intellectual discussions and working on my home to do the upkeep. And that’s what you want to do in your life. That, you know, sprinkling a little bit of travel and things like that. It will. The younger woman that you’re dating might still want to spend her time doing really different things from you.
And that can cause conflict and tension in your relationship. Now, you also [00:12:00] might recognize that your longterm girl goals are just simply not aligned, right? She’s young. Maybe she wants kids. You’re like, I’ve got three kids or I don’t want kids. Or it’s, you know, I’m not interested in having kids at 48 or 57 or 63, right?
Like. Is this woman that you’re dating that’s 20 years younger than you, is that she actually going to be okay with that? Um, because she might still be figuring out her career, her future, some of these bigger value based items that can cause serious conflict in a relationship. And if you’re a little more settled in your life, you might notice that, yeah, the attractiveness is there or maybe some of the emotional connectivity is there.
But in terms of our social life, our lifestyle, we are just not aligned in terms of how we want to spend our time and where we are going. Now, of course, you’re also going to notice that your social circles and generational differences are going to be pretty highlighted, right? Her friends and family may not relate to your life stage.
And that might make, you know, family Thanksgivings [00:13:00] a little bit awkward, right? Or maybe cultural references or the music you like, or the humor you share. Or social norms that you have just feel really mismatched and unaligned. And if there is a really big disconnect here, then of course it can create awkwardness into your relationship or even actually create a feeling of isolation, even though you’re in a relationship.
Now, um, one of the things I also want to mention here, it’s actually really important to consider is just because you’re older, it doesn’t mean. that you have more power or control over someone that’s younger. So power imbalances often arise. If you find that, Oh, I have more experience and I’m making all the decisions or I’m leading the relationship.
Um, then things can feel really unbalanced because a healthy relationship, despite your age requires equality. Or at least fairness in terms of how you go about making life decisions and too much of an age gap can actually make these things really difficult. Even [00:14:00] if this woman is very mature for her age, there is still a gap in life experience that you just can’t make up for.
And lastly, something to just genuinely consider, um, as we’re being realists here is that your energy and physical differences. Might actually take a play. Like, doesn’t mean you’re not an active dude who goes out and pickle balls or hikes or mountain bikes or golfs or whatever you like to do with your time.
Um, but you know, younger people have more energy and I’m definitely noticing that as I get older, right? It’s harder to get up and you don’t have as much pep in you and as you age your lifestyle habits. Fitness, diet, sleep might really differ significantly and these things can create frustration if one person feels like they’re always having to slow down or one person feels like they’re always having to keep up.
Um, and so these are actual considerations guys that you need to be thinking about if you’re, you know, tempted to date a younger woman or you know that you have a lot of pep and energy. And so that’s why you’re attracted to women because [00:15:00] they’re representing that youthfulness and vitality that you’re holding onto and that, you know, that you feel you have in your life.
So here’s how you can approach it the right way, guys, because Hey, don’t yuck someone else’s yum, right? So if you guys are interested in younger women, You know, I think dating younger women, there’s nothing wrong with it. As long as you are actually mindful of where these differences can arise and you have tools and skills on how to deal with it.
Um, and you’re doing so because you have a genuine connection, not because you’re trying to fulfill some ego or make yourself look better. b outfits? Yeah, renting out clothes is extremely beneficial for women, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it means the same to everybody else. So, it just depends on, you know, the type of person you are.
But if you are a woman, whether your boyfriend is going to be with you about 10 days from now or 10 years from now, Um, then then I totally get it. Then what’s really interesting, you know, and what’s really helpful to remember guys is that the relationship needs to be built on real compatibility, not just [00:16:00] attraction, no matter what the age of a woman is.
So if you’re being authentic, um, in terms of yourself and your lifestyle, not trying to dress younger or act younger or change who you are, um, cause all of that is just a farce. That’s just a, you know, a false representation of of who you truly are in order to obtain something. And that’s not authenticity, right?
That’s very disingenuous. And you know, it’s really important that you guys, when you are out there dating, you really are simply looking for shared values and aligned long term goals, because those things matter more. Um, so it’s really important that, you know, if you’re dating younger to just going back to that initial point that you have both have a voice in the relationship and while younger women might be swiping on you boys, you, they might be very interested in you dating someone that’s a little closer to your age.
It might actually allow you to bring the deeper connections and shared experiences that you ultimately are looking for [00:17:00] because attraction between younger women and older men happens for so many reasons, right? But large, large age gaps guys come with a lot of unique challenges. Okay. And you might even notice she’s a lot more immature than you are.
And the key here is to finding genuine compatibility, shared values, a mutual vision for your relationship, rather than focusing solely on age or even looks, guys. Um, you want to align with women. Um, that fit into your lifestyle and vice versa allow for that emotional depth and your relationship goals to unfold whether she’s younger, whether she’s the same age or whether she happens to be older than you.
So I would love to hear your guys’s thoughts and comments on this. If you are dating after divorce. Are you noticing younger women are attracted to you? Are you noticing that you are attracted to younger women and what’s your reasoning? You know, often I find with the men I work with that they are attracted to younger women because the [00:18:00] men I work with are really taking care of their bodies.
They’re really physically active and they want to date a woman who is still in a energetic place in her life where she can do things to keep up with him. Right? So what is your motivation? What attracts you to younger women? Uh, if you are dating again, where do you feel you draw the line in terms of age?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Um, we can use this as a really positive forum below. Um, and of course, thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of the self confidence project and look forward to seeing you guys all next week. Ciao.
