Welcome back to another episode of The Self-Confidence Project. Today we’re diving into how to confidently invite a woman to your place after a date, ensuring she feels comfortable and valued. We’ll explore when the tight time is to throw out the invitation, how to invite her and tips for making your home environment appropriate and comfortable. If you value loving relationships and don’t want to turn her off, then tune into today’s video.
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With love,
Kimberly
Here’s the transcript:
Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of the self-confidence project. I’m your host, Kimberly. And today we’re going to be talking about. How you can actually ask a woman that you’re on a date with, to come home with you. So obviously when you’re out there getting to know a woman, there is a natural curiosity of where things are going to go from a physical and intimate connection.
Now, you guys are probably listening to this video because. Things have felt a little, maybe stressful before when it comes to, how do I get a woman that seems to be interested in me that I’m interested in romantically, physically, sexually actually come home and spend time with me. Um, so that the possibility of getting a little more intimate can actually take place.
Now, there is a right way to do this, and there is a wrong way to do this. And the last thing you guys want to do is feel. Insanely overwhelmed by this process or end up being the new face of the 2024. Let’s go back to the hashtag me too movement. Now, obviously, [00:01:00] you know, the guys that, you know, come to my YouTube channel or that work with me are genuinely good hearted guys that want to have deeply loving relationships.
So if that’s the kind of guy you are then stay tuned, because I’m going to share with you a few things you want to keep in mind so that. If the date’s going well, you can feel comfortable and confident throwing out the invitation to ask her to come back to your place and see where things go yesterday.
So before we dive into that, if you guys don’t know who I am, my name is Kimberly. I’m a men’s life dating and relationship coach for many years now. My full-time job is to support guys who are dating to do so with more fun, with more clarity, with more confidence, I want to help you guys attract the right types of women into your life and stop spending time or wasting time on the wrong women.
So this is for good heart of man that really want to get into loving, deeply committed relationships. Now, if you’re struggling in this area, Or dating is not feeling fun for you or you’re repeating old patterns with women that I definitely encourage you [00:02:00] to book a complimentary call with me. See if coaching with me is right for you. Um, got various times frames, various things that we can work on.
Um, if I’m not the right fit for you, maybe I can point you into a direction that could be really helpful so that you can have fun dating, right? You can attract beautiful women into your life. So you can go and have the relationship you want, which is what we are all desiring or what many of us are desiring from our intimate relationships now? How can you ask a woman to come home with you without feeling like you’re being creepy or you’re going to totally scare her away.
And when is the right time to actually do this? Well, there is no set rule for this guys. And so it does rely on a little bit of emotional awareness, a little bit of that attunement and really timing things appropriately as well. Because as I’ve mentioned in many of my content, women really do make decisions based on how they are feeling. Not what feels logical or Hey now would be the right time to go home with a guy.
It’s no, it’s going to be based [00:03:00] on how she’s feeling in that moment. So the most important thing that you guys want to be thinking about. Whether you asking you to come home with you on date one or two or three, or maybe further down the line is that. Firstly, you guys are having fun. There’s a genuine connection that is being formed between the two of you and the body language and energy is appropriate and natural. And comfortable, the only way a woman is going to say yes to going into your home and potentially staying the night with you is if she is developing comfort and trust with you. Of course, you also wants to be developing. Sexual attraction and tension and desire and anticipation with you, but that is only going to be unlocked when she feels like she can actually trust you.
One of the things you guys need to remember is that biologically women are constantly trying to feel safe every moment of the day, every hour of the day, every day of the week, every week of the month [00:04:00] and so forth, we constantly are trying to make sure that we are feeling safe and that we are comfortable because let’s be. Honest women are the weaker sex, right?
We’re not as physically strong as men. And so we are constantly assessing whether we are safe in that moment. This is so important. So before we even consider asking her to come home to your place, you better make sure she is comfortable. Now, how are you going to know that you’re going to know that because if you were paying attention to her body language, she’s going to be demonstrating that now women can give verbal consent. Scent, but their bodies can be saying no.
So it’s really important that you guys get a little more sensitive to not only the words that she is saying. But what her body language is demonstrating. Now, if you want to know the signs that women are going to give off, when they’re sexually interested in a guy, go check out my other YouTube video, where I talk about nine signs that a woman is sexually interested in you.
Right? So you’re going to want to watch [00:05:00] that video first to understand some of the body language, but generally you’re going to notice things throughout the evening on your date or day time, and your date that there’s already some comfortable touch taking place. Maybe it’s handholding. Maybe it’s sitting closer together.
Maybe it’s rubbing shoulders. Maybe you’ve put your arm around her and she didn’t wince or shy away. Right. There’s already gotta be a level of physical comfort that is taking place. Before you ask her to come home to your place. Now, there also has to be an engagement in the conversation. If you think you’re going to ask a woman to come home with you after some doll or lifeless conversation or a really awkward evening. You guys are just setting yourself up for failure because flip the situation around.
Right. You know, like, you know, you’re not going to want to spend more time with a woman. Um, if you just think that she’s really nothing to offer you. So make sure that, uh, there is good engagement in the conversation. That’s genuine [00:06:00] reciprocal. The good nonverbal cues are taking place like she’s leaning in there’s strong eye contact.
There’s touch being initiated. Um, and there’s just generally a real safe and positive vibe could be really flirting. Could be really fun too. Now you guys want to respect the flow of the evening, so you want to make sure that it’s like, oh, things are going really well while our appetizers are coming to the table.
Let me ask her if she wants to come home with me now, wrong time, guys, you do need to allow the night to progress naturally. As if the idea to take her home only just casually popped into your mind at the end of the night. Not that this invitation was already programmed into you. The moment she met you at the restaurant, or you picked her up now that might be the truth, but if you try and rush the invitation. She’s probably going to say no.
So making sure that you’re respecting the flow of the [00:07:00] evening. And when that invitation takes place, which I’m going to talk about in a moment. It’s got to have a natural flow to it as if you just thought about it. In that moment because things were going really well. So when might that take place now, let’s say you finished your dinner.
You guys have decided to have dessert and you might be walking her to. Her Uber her car or, or, or to where she’s going to pick up a ride to go home. And you might say something like, you know, I really enjoyed myself this evening. Absolutely no pressure, but. Did you want to. You know, maybe go back to my place for another glass of wine. Very casual.
Hey, I’ve really enjoyed the conversation. It’s so much fun spending time with you this evening. Like. How do you feel like you’d be okay. Due to come back to mine and keep the conversation going. You want to use language? That’s really indifferent in a sense that, Hey, I’d love for you to come back, but I’m not worried if you don’t. Hey, I would love to invite you over to my place, but there [00:08:00] is no pressure. This is not something that has to happen.
It’s really enjoying time with one another. Let’s continue that. So you want to make sure that she feels like it is okay if she doesn’t want to. So you use phrases like, Hey, if you’re not ready, you’re not comfortable. That’s totally fine. That can ease a lot of pressure. But if it’s the end of your evening, things have been going really well.
Or maybe you guys had a great cocktail at dinner that you bonded over, or you had a nice glass of wine. You might say like, Hey, do you want to have another drink at my place? I’d love for you to come back. No worries. If you’re not ready, I could drive us there. You don’t want to have any pressure in your tone or in the invitation. If it’s casual. If it’s without pressure, you’re much more likely to get a yes from her because she’s going to feel comfortable knowing that she has autonomy to say yes or no.
And that regardless of her answer, you’re a safe person [00:09:00] to be around. So make sure you’re not making this the end goal the evening should not feel like you have been angling for this invitation all along. You want to make sure the invitation feels like a suggestion. Not an expectation. Now I know the truth is you probably want her to come home from the moment you met her.
If you’re vibing with her. But it’s really important that this is just a light-hearted suggestion at the end of the evening. Otherwise, I guarantee you. Most women are 99 out of a hundred. Women are going to say no, cause it just doesn’t feel safe for them. So do not make it the end goal. Make sure. It feels like I lighthearted spur of the moment suggestion and get the timing right towards the end of your date.
Now, of course, be prepared to respect her decision. If she does the Klein. Say no worries at all. I’ve had a great time with you tonight, either way. Um, because trying to convince her. After she said no is super major red flag guys. That [00:10:00] means you don’t respect what she’s saying. That means you don’t actually care about her comfort or at least that’s, what’s being demonstrated.
If you try and commit. Oh, but you said you really liked that wine. Oh. But like we’ve already been on three dates. It’s like, cut that crap. Right? If she says, no, she says, no, the last thing you need to be doing is trying to convince a woman to spend time with you. You’re going to completely ruin your chances with her. Now you want to leave the door open for future dates.
So if she’s not ready to come home yet, but you guys enjoy time together. No worries. Suggest just another date reaffirm that you actually value her company and you value that connection. Even if going home with you at night is not in the cards for her or for the both of you. Now, let’s say you’ve asked that casual invitation.
Hey, would you like to have another drink at my place or, Hey, do you want to continue the conversation back at my place? Well guys, if you’re inviting a woman to your house, you better make sure that you’re creating a comfortable environment at your place. What does that mean? It means that it’s relatively clean and tidy, [00:11:00] right?
Your home should reflect respect and care and it doesn’t have to be immaculate. Right, but it should be clean and it should be welcoming so that she feels like when she sits on your couch or sits in your kitchen to have a glass of wine with you, she again can feel relaxed and feel safe. She’s not looking around at an overwhelming amount of staff, um, and feeling like she made the wrong decision.
Now, of course you want to set the mood right now, please be mindful. This is not a seduction. I had something like this happened to me years ago and it was so off-putting where I did say yes to going a home with a guy. And all of a sudden he put the music on and dimmed the lights as if he’d done this a million times before.
And it was so off putting to me cause I thought, well, I’m just falling into this guy’s trap. So please do not create an overly seductive atmosphere. Guys. You’re not flick on red lights or put on some deep music or, [00:12:00] you know, like. I already have rose pedals on the bat. This is so tacky. So off-putting however you can say, Hey, would you like to listen to some music and then flick something on?
Right? You could say, Hey, would you like a glass of wine? This is the bottle we were talking about earlier, right? Yes. You do want to have nice lighting. So last thing you want to do at the end of a romantic dinner with a woman is go home. And then put on the brightest lighting as if you’re in a high school gym, right?
You want soft lights, things that feel comfortable and a little more of a relaxed atmosphere. And of course, make sure there’s a comfortable place for her to sit down, not a couch. That’s got laundry on it and things like that right now offer drinks, but don’t push for alcohol. If you’ve already talked about having another cocktail or drink at home, of course, offer her a drink, but you don’t need to push it.
It’s all about comfort. Not lowering inhibition. So, Hey, would you like a glass of water would be a really nice [00:13:00] gesture so that she feels like. You’re there to actually spend time together, not just a means to an end. So give her a glass of water, ask if she wants something else, make sure your fridge is actually stocked.
Make sure you guys actually have a nice bottle of red or white wine or that you’re even capable of mixing up a cocktail or two and have some soft drinks at hand so that it’s not like you open your fridge. And there are 60 beers in there. Um, and no orange juice or no Caboolture, no Coca-Cola or whatever the heck people drink these days.
Right. Just make sure there’s some options on hand. So again, she hasn’t said yes. And then feels like she’s walked into. A situation that she’s really trying to then get out of now. What happens at your guys’s place? Again, you’re going to assess the body language, assess the flow, but regardless of what happens, you want to end the evening respectfully be really attuned to her comfort.
If she’s in a decide to stay over. Then just ensure that she’s comfortable and feel safe, clean towel, whatever is [00:14:00] that she needs ask her. But always get clear consent before anything physical happens. Now, if she has had that extra drink with you, but doesn’t want to stay over, she’s ready to leave, then offer to help her get a ride. Don’t be short or catty or anything like that, just make sure she gets home safely.
Show that her wellbeing is your priority. And then follow up the next day, just because you invite her home. It doesn’t mean there’s any guarantee that she’s going to stay over or things are intimate are going to happen. It just means that she’s getting more comfortable, progressing time with you and going into your personal space.
So follow up the next day, text her and let her know that you had a really great time whether she came over or not, whether she stayed over or not. Because this shows that you as a guy are genuinely interested in her and not just the evening’s outcome. So, this is how you guys are going to be successful. Progressing a nice date where there’s some good vibe, good [00:15:00] chemistry to a casual invitation that seemed very spontaneous at the end of the night.
Would you like to come for another drink? Would you like to continue the evening back at my place? I’d love to keep chatting with you. I’d love to have you over. If you’re comfortable with that, if not, no worries. And that is going to set you guys up for success when it comes to how to invite a woman into your home. Where she’s going to feel comfortable and happy that she actually made that decision and is progressing things with you.
It’s all about respect. It’s all about comfort. It’s all about being confident with the invitation. And it’s always about staying grounded no matter what happens and what the situation is, guys, I hope this is helpful. Sheraton those guys that are a little struggling with that invitation on how to take a woman home. Remember, it’s just about. Throwing that invitation out there, seeing what happens so that you can genuinely progress the relationship with respect, with comfort, with genuine intentions.
And I wish you guys all luck [00:16:00] when it comes to asking that lovely lady home for an extra drink or a little bit more conversation. Talk to you guys soon.
