This episode explores five unique turn-ons for women that go beyond typical romantic gestures and bedroom techniques. Kimberly highlights the importance of emotional stability, being in a state of flow, standing up for oneself assertively, treating less fortunate people with kindness, and the unexpected allure of a man wearing a backward hat.
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Here’s the transcript
[00:00:00] Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of the self-confidence project. We’re going to be diving straight in today to talk about five things that turn women on that you probably haven’t thought about before. Probably. Elements that haven’t really been shared anywhere else, because when we think about how to turn. A woman on how to turn our partners on.
I don’t know about you guys, but my mind usually goes to what kind of romantic gesture or sexual act do I need to do to get my partner in the mood and everything that I’m going to be talking about today? Does not take place in the bedroom because the secret to really turning a woman on is starting long before you have entered the bedroom.
So I’m going to be diving into those five things today. So definitely stick all the way to the end. Um, if you’re new to this, you know, YouTube channel there’s podcasts, obviously I want to welcome you guys here. My name is Kimberly Hill. Um, a man’s dating and relationship coach. And I’ve been doing this for a [00:01:00] long time now. Um, and really my mission and my overall purpose is to support men that are dating and wanting to attract the right types of women into their lives.
They do not want to repeat the same patterns that they have held in love and in dating and in relationships, they want to dive deeper into themselves, gain self-awareness and just become better human beings on this planet while dating and having more fun, attracting the right types of partner, moving away from spending time with the. The wrong times, types of women. And genuinely going on to having deep, loving, um, intimate, passionate relationships with this sounds like you. Um, and what you’re looking for in your life, and you’re definitely in the right place now. Um, of course I’ve got some other products and links that you guys can check out.
So if you ever want to have a call with me and understand what coaching is like, there’s a link in the description of the video and in the podcast where you guys can book a complimentary consult to understand if coaching is [00:02:00] right for you. Um, and if you’re also interested, maybe you guys have been listening to me for a while on this show or on this podcast, you’d like my voice. I’ve been told that I have a nice soothing voice.
I don’t know if I agree with that, but if you like that, you’re going to love the audio masterclass that I put together a short while ago, which talks about the 10 must know tips for talking and texting with women. So if you struggle, when it comes to communication with women, understanding women, how to approach them in person, and also just how to text them, um, when it comes to, you know, your interactions on a phone or interactions on a dating app, you’re going to love that masterclass, go check it out.
I don’t know how long I’m going to have it live and active. I have four. Um, and the link to that is of course, in the show notes in the description below. Okay. Five things that turn her on, probably things you haven’t thought of before. The first one, arguably, one of the most important turn-ons for women is when a man stays grounded. Despite her [00:03:00] emotional state. When a man stays grounded, despite a woman’s emotional state. Let me explain. Women are emotional beings.
We all are, but women let’s say we have a little more of that stereotypically, right? Feminine creatures. We’re emotional beings and our decisions are very often influenced by. How we are feeling in not exact. Moment. And one moment we’re on top of the world and we’re saying yes to everything and in. And the next moment or not at the top of the world, we’re really stressed out.
We’re sad and we’re making a totally different decision or saying we don’t want to do whatever we previously committed to probably know a woman that’s done that. Right. And that’s because we add and float with our emotions. And these emotions usually are what drive many of our complex. When we’re angry, we’re hurt.
We’re sad. It spills out into this frenzy of. Neuroticism and sometimes drama. Cause [00:04:00] I I’m being honest here. Not everyone. Has perfect emotional composure all the time. And I don’t think anyone on the planet is ever going to have perfect emotional composure. So sometimes we. Have this dramatic flair. Of emotions and you know, a lot of drives you men.
Crazy. I get it. Drives you guys crazy. You can’t understand. How we can be so hot and cold in the moment. And maybe in those instances, you guys take the bait. Or you get short with your partner. Or you roll your eyes because you just can’t understand what the heck she’s thinking, feeling or processing or how she’s processing. Or maybe you jump right in and you start listing reasons why she doesn’t need to feel that way because you care and love for her.
And if you could just explain something to her, then she wouldn’t feel those emotions. Very highly invalidating by the way. So don’t recommend doing that. None of this, none of that turns a woman on. What does turn a woman on is when, [00:05:00] in the midst of her dramatic expression of emotions. You remain grounded and calm.
So the best way that I can think to highlight this is if any of you have watched the prime series Yellowstone. Kevin Costner. Now there’s a main actor in the show and his character name is rip Wheeler. Okay. So women Swoon over rip Wheeler, and it’s not because he’s arguably the most attractive man in Hollywood.
He’s not, although I would have to add right now, but I find his character to be insanely attractive. Why it’s because whenever his fiery dramatic emotional partner, Beth Dutton acts out.
He remains calm. He remains grounded. And he sometimes even adds a little humor to the situation he does not rip does not [00:06:00] pretend to understand everything that Beth is thinking or feeling he does not. Ever consider inserting himself into her. Dramatic flare of emotions, but rather he simply chooses to love her. In that. Moment. That is such a major turn on. Y. You’re like, you’re probably listening to this going like, well, that’s a lot of work that we need to do where women get to just do whatever they want.
Well, let me just clarify something. This in no way, shape or form excuses, poor behavior from women. This does not mean that if she’s critical or nasty or. You know, emotionally abusive that you just stay calm and no, no, no. That’s not what I’m talking about here. Uh, emotional abuse is a totally different category, but a woman who’s. Expressing and emoting herself in this dramatic fashion.
It’s when that is taking place. And when [00:07:00] you choose to stay grounded and calm and love her through that. Anyways, that is what is a major turn on because it makes women feel safe. In your presence to express themselves. And safety. Okay. Safety is what is a fundamental, basic requirement. For a woman too. Get turned on and later that evening want to roll around in the sheets with you.
But if you think of an example of any day you’ve had with any woman, if it started with. And emotional expression on her side. And. You didn’t stay calm and grounded and you guys had a conflict it’s, it’s just highly unlikely. She’s going to feel like she wants to open up to you in a vulnerable way later that night, because it has to do with her comfort and safety around you. Right.
So this is why staying grounded. Despite her emotional [00:08:00] state is one of the biggest turn-ons for women. And again, turn-ons for women’s start long before you’ve entered the bedroom. Okay. Now why can’t women just be more in check with their emotions and communicate more clearly and make things easier for guys?
Honestly, I don’t know. Right? It’s the psyche of women. I’m just sharing information with what the reality is the day. Um, of course I have opinions on how we can better communicate and be more direct and. Be more emotionally stoic in so many ways, but the reality is. Us humans are emotional as women are emotional.
And so it’s very likely you’re going to face this type of situation at some point with women. And I want you to know that if you just choose in that moment to love her anyways and not try and fix her or solve her. You will score massive brownie points, guys, you will turn her on. Okay. Second element that massively turns women on. Is. And this has nothing to even [00:09:00] do with her, which is crazy, right.
Is when you men are doing. Hard things or you’re in a state of flow. Okay. So this could be, let’s use the example of, like, let’s say you enjoy cooking and you’re in the kitchen and you’re cooking up a meal and you’re, you’re just moving around or you have this great energy and your essentially protruding this energy out into the world that you. Our on stifled. You’re free from the outcome of whatever is happening. You’re completely just enjoying yourself in the present moment and what this is demonstrating to the woman that is spending time with you, or that you’re cooking for that’s in the house or in the other room, or just in your energetic presence. Is that you are focused on the experience. And not on yourself.
It’s attractive. So this could be you. Working out in the gym without. [00:10:00] Peeking at yourself in the mirror, right? Because that’s a little bit of the focus on the self, right. Or it can appear to be, to focus on the self. Maybe you’re just doing it for a postural from a postural perspective, making sure you’re lifting, writes weights the right way. Okay.
But what I need is when you’re in a state of flow, when you’re sweating, you’re working hard, you’re focused on something you’re under your car, fixing something you’re in the kitchen, cooking something, you’re doing a routine of stretching. You’re you’re painting, you’re building something you’re using your hands.
You’re just. In the moment in the experience and not focus on yourself. This is what many people call a state of flow. You’ve probably experienced it in some hobby or outlet that you have in your life. And when a woman catches you in this state of flow or gets a glimpse of you in a state of flow. It is really attractive.
This is why you see so many scenes in movies where a woman sees a man. Okay. And the man does not know the [00:11:00] woman is there. Right. She’s looking at the guy on the farm and he’s. He’s lifting something or moving a piece of equipment or he’s he’s grunting. Cause he’s lifting up a, you know, a piece of farming equipment that’s heavy and he does not know that she’s watching him, but she’s just looking at this guy as he’s focused on the experience, he’s grunting, he’s sweating and she’s just licking her lips.
Cause she’s like, She just likes. This visual that she’s getting of this dude, guys, when you are in your own state of flow, when you were enjoying something in your life, this is ultimately super, super attractive. Which is also why. It is highly recommended that in your online dating profiles, at the types of images you have are the ones that represent your state of flow.
So this is why all dating coaches are going to tell you that you need, of course, a portrait picture. Um, to demonstrate your face and show who you are and your profile and build trust. But the other pictures are lifestyle pictures. You living your [00:12:00] life, essentially in this state of flow, focus on the experience and not yourself.
This is highly, highly attractive granting, sweating, working out focused. Demonstrating passion for something. This is super, super attractive. Women love it. When men can do things that they are not capable of doing as well. We develop this fondness and admiration for the strengths and the capabilities of our partner.
It’s very, very sexy and very attractive. Don’t know what it is that you do, guys, that you’re passionate about, that you love. That’s a hobby where you get in a state of flow, but just own it when you’re doing it, because guarantee you with a woman catches a glimpse of you. Um, She’s she’s feeling things.
She’s feeling things. Okay. The third major turn on for women.
Is when you stand up for yourself respectfully. Because nobody likes a pushover. And when a man can demonstrate. [00:13:00]
That he is able to stand up for himself and do so assertively, not aggressively. Okay. I’m not talking about. Uh, aggressive displays of emotion, but contained. Yeah, assertive and respectful. This demonstrates that you have communication stick skills that are respectful, that you can be clear and direct. And by the way, That is a more masculine, energetic trait.
The reason why, and in my content lately, I talk about how women are such indirect communicators and guys rolling their eyes going. I wish women were just so much more clear and direct. I get that I wish more women were to, it would make life a lot easier. But that is predominantly masculine, energetic quality women were not raised to be as assertive and clear and direct because that is perceived as a masculine trait. So you guys are, you know, a lot of you are frustrated with the fact that women aren’t clear with their [00:14:00] communication and I get it.
We really should be, it would make your lives a lot easier. Um, but that’s just not, you know, How a lot of women have been raised. So it’s something that they need to learn. Through communication with you. Um, in the safe container of your relationship. So why it’s so attractive when men can be assertive and stand up for themselves. Is of course it’s showing this maturity, it’s showing this masculine energy, it’s showing this confidence.
And what it’s doing is it’s letting women know that she can trust you and lean on you to defend a situation, including yourself and probably her. Without aggravating others without putting her in further harm’s way without inciting conflict or war or a distressing situation. So when you can calmly assertively and clearly, and respectfully stand up for yourself and your boundaries, a woman can go.
He’s got this. I [00:15:00] don’t have to step forward into my masculine energy and save the day. I can trust a lot of this has to do with trust and safety. If you’re picking up the subtle hints here. Right. A lot of this has to do with can a woman feels safe and comfortable in your presence. Because you can stay grounded. Because you can, uh, absorb into an experience and because you know how to stand up for yourself respectfully, nobody likes a pushover.
Um, and it creates a bit of discord and maybe mistrust when you’re in situations where. Um, you know, you aren’t able to assert yourself in not respectful manner. So major, major turn on.
Major major turn-on guys really different. However, again, from being aggressive, Uh, yelling, being critical, you know, getting out of your car and starting road rage. All of that makes a woman feel unsafe. Right? So it’s really about doing, standing up for yourself in that clear, direct, assertive, yet [00:16:00] respectful way where it’s not going to incite more. Um, conflict more chaos, uh, or put your woman in harm’s way.
Okay. Turn on number four.
I love this one. I love this one. I love this one very, very much. This is when men treat less fortunate people with dignity and kindness and you’re probably going. Yeah, absolutely. And same thing. It’s a turn on when women do this too. Y, this is because again, this creates a lot of insight into who you are as an individual.
It demonstrates your patients for other people. It shows how you value human beings and the world around you. When a man who we know can stand up for himself who get in a state of flow, who can stay grounded despite our chaos, this. This warrior of a man can also show tenderness to other people. It demonstrates the woman that you’re the kind of person that can care for her when she is feeling down and out. The true [00:17:00] task of your character. Is how you treat others who add no value to your life.
The true test of your character is how you treat somebody who adds no value to your life. These are the things women are keeping track of in their mind. These are the things that create good feelings or bad feelings within the woman that you were with. This also really, really impacts her desire and willingness to be with you romantically, because if you think about. Uh, a common day in a woman’s life or an average day in a woman’s life where she was emotional in the morning.
And you tried to solve all her problems. And then, um, you guys go out for lunch together and they put you in the worst table and worst corner of the restaurant and you just, you just accepted it. You didn’t, you didn’t. You know, ask respectfully for a better seat. And then you’re rude to [00:18:00] the waiter.
Like a, woman’s making this checklist in her mind of like, I, I’m not feeling connected to you. I’m not feeling safe in your presence and no, I’m not going to feel turned on later when you want to roll around in the sheets with me, this is women’s minds need to attune to their bodies for them to want to. Be intimate and be sexual with you. And we’re wired differently than you guys, which is why men sometimes find it hard to understand how to turn a woman on.
And again, it says, because it, it starts long before you enter the bedroom. Right. And these things are not difficult to do. They’re not difficult to do. If you have self-awareness and you have communication skills and you’re working on your, um, your own emotional regulation. Yes. Women need to do all that too. Okay.
No, no excuses for women to just sit around and do nothing. While men do all the work. I totally call women out to be better human beings, be more direct and more [00:19:00] clear, um, and to do all these things themselves. But again, this video is for you guys. So when you treat less fortunate people with dignity and kindness, of course, in the presence of the woman you’re dating or you’re around again, it demonstrates your true character by how you behave and treat people who aren’t adding any value to your. Our life. And the number five. Major turn on for women. Uh, this one is a personal favorite of mine.
This is very different from the other ones. You guys, maybe you’re going to laugh at this one. Um, and this is when men. Are doing the. Turn on number three. Okay. Turn on number, sorry. Turn on number two, when you are doing hard things and you’re in the flow and you’re in the experience, but you are also wearing a backwards hat.
Super super sexy.
I don’t know what it is about this. Go ahead and ask women in your friend group that you [00:20:00] know, in your life, if they think it’s sexy, when a man wears his hat backwards, I literally do not know what it is. My partner wears a hat all the time. It’s pretty much on his head. 90%. Except for when he’s sleeping, he’d probably wear it to bed.
If he could. When he flips on around. I don’t know. I’d like, energetically just want to get closer to him. I don’t know what it is, but if you ask any women that, you know, in your circle of influence in your social life, if they find men sexy with hat backwards, especially when they’re doing hard things guaranteed, they’re going to say yes for some of them are going to say yes, Um, it’s showcases your face, it frames your face really nicely.
There’s just something really sexy about it. So a little cheeky, easy one for you guys to pick up here in today’s podcast and in this video. Backwards hat while doing the other things. Mo the band name, you’re going to be at the top of the pile. So hopefully you had some fun watching this video, listening to this podcast, learning about the things that [00:21:00] ultimately genuinely turn women on, because remember. Our minds and bodies need to be aligned.
We need to be feeling connected to you in these types of ways, especially emotionally for us to want to be vulnerable in the bedroom, intimately and passionately with you. So hopefully there’s been some value in insight in today’s show. I’d love to hear what you guys know that works for you to get a woman turned on, share that wisdom with everybody else.
So we can all be learning from the things that. You know, have helped you in your dating life have helped you in your relationships to insight, more passion and more intimacy and more playfulness and more fun. Of course, if you guys want to access that masterclass of mine, you want to book a consultation, you know where to find the links there in the description of this content that’s going out today.
And again, thanks so much for tuning in and look forward to bringing you all another episode next week. Ciao.
